Spider-man Marvel Knights #8

Marvel Knights, it's a hell of an imprint. You know, it seems I always bask the comics before I review them; I don't really like X-Men, I don't like Fantastic Four, the Silver Surfer is a weakling, ect. But I really, really like Spider-man. He's by far my favorite hero...in anything, DC, Marvel or otherwise.

But at first, i was a little wary about this comic. Why? Well, first of all, Marvel Knights seemed really...unappealing to me, back in the day. A new imprint, fah, it's just a sales push! Plus, this comic features, on it's cover, Venom, who had been at this point very whored out since his original debut. I mean, Carnage, Maximum Carnage, Toxin, Hybrid, Planet of the Symboites...there were a lot of things that were made from Venom just because he sold comic books. I mean, who doesn't love a dark version of Spider-man?

Anyway, this comic starts off right in the middle of a fight that started last issue. Venom, now under the control of Angelo Fortunato, is attacking Spidey in the middle of his High School reunion. Why doesn't Eddie Brock control Venom anymore? Well, he sold it, to the highest bidder. Donated the money to charity and everything. he's really a nice guy, despite all the mean, evil things he's done to Peter over the years.

Oh yeah, did I mention that Venom killed someone when he crashed the party? Well, he did, and Spider-man is mighty pissed off about that. They take the rumble to the showers of Peter's old High school, and Peter starts narrating the story with those little blue bubbles, just the way we like it. Peter is really pissed off at this whole thing, and so he's not holding back; it's a lot like that Back in Black arc that's going now. Anyway, there's this really good scene where this guy is trying to pick up MJ, and he tells her that he's Spider-man. Just as he finishes inviting her back to his place to see the "blue and red pajamas", the real Spider-man bursts through the wall, grappling with Venom, leaving our rather embarrassed friend to say, "Okay, now I just feel stupid". Ah, comic book humor. Gotta love it.

Anyway, the two combants just keep beating the crap out one another. Spidey has the upper hand, but Venom keeps with his attacks. This Venom is huge; two times bigger than the first one, and he knows all of Spider-man's moves. They continue the tumble into the street, and Spider-man has to save a few people from the evil Venom. He starts calling him names, though, and that's his ultimate card; picking on a young man.

Hell, Venom almost wins. He's so close he could, well, see it. But he messes up. Egged on by Spider-man's mocking, he loses faith in himself, and starts to doubt all his moves. He literally sikes himself out of killing Peter, completely. He flees. And you know what? The symbiote doesn't like a flee-er. Mid jump, the symboite pulls off of poor Angelo, who falls to his death.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the tragic tale of Marvel Knights 8. Thanks you.

My Favorite Comic Book Movies

I want to update, I really do, and I swear that I'll try really hard to get a few comic posts up this week.

But until then, how about something to tide ME over? My top 5 comic book movies.

5. X-Men
I only really had a few problems with this movie. For one, there weren't may actual X-Men in it. Storm, Cyclops, Wolverine (who isn't part of the team for most of the movie), Rogue (who played the Damsel in Distress role), and Jean Gray...as a DOCTOR!? But it was a good movie, espically the scenes with Magento and his Brotherhood. Toad was cool, Sabertooth was good...the train station fight is pretty wild. It's good enough to hit 5 on my list.

4. 300

A decent, recent flick, 300 was possibly the coolest movie experience I've ever seen. So much action, so many good one liners, it was the ultimate guy movie, and it had a pretty good story too. It helps that it was based off of historical events. Believe it or not, 300 is my second most-read-comic of all time, with the top spot being crowned by Watchmen.

3. Batman Begins
This is the only DC movie on my list...which really says something about the state of DC movies. I'm not the greatest Bat-fan, but I can enjoy a good movie. Plus, the sequel looks really good, so...pretty much, if it can start a franchise, keep me entertained AND have the dude that played Qui-Gon in it, it's gold in my book.

2. Spider-man

I know a lot of people like the sequel over the first one, but honestly I like the first Spider-man about it. It's just...more...campy, which is a word I hate, but it is I like having Peter as a young high-schooler and not an emo college student. And this movie pretty much single handely led to the ultimate universe. So that's good too.

1. X2: X-men United


The popular opinion gets the nod from me. Let's see...the story is great, it has Nightcrawler, it has Colossus, it has Lady Deathstrike...this movie really has it all. I watch it a lot, and I gotta say it is one hell of a movie.

So there it is, my list of the 5 best comic films. No real surprises, I'm guessing. Look forward to some real updates soon!

Astonishing X-Men v.3 #14

So let's just get this out there; I am not really a huge X-Men fan. It's not that I hate mutants or anything, it's just...I never really find them interesting. I'll take Spider-man and Daredevil over Cyclops and Wolverine any day. So on it's a rare day when I get a X-Men comic. Well, except Ultimate X-Men. I mostly get that in trade format though. It helped that my High School library had the first...8. ANYWAY.

This is a pretty weird comic in itself. It takes place towards the end of a story arc which pits the X-Men against a new version of the Hellfire Club, which is a group of assholes who always for some reason hassle the X-Men's groins. I never really understood the point of this super-evil super group, who, instead of being evil, play chess. This group is made up of Cassandra Nova (What a clever name!), Emma Frost, Perfection, and some other losers that are pretty much thrown in the be there.

This issue doesn't really have much of the bad guys, though. it really focuses more on Cyclops, who is being mentally raped by Ema Frost. Seriously, she tries everything. She even turns herself into Jean Grey to try to get in his pants. Women. Talk about crazy. They keep on chatting it up, and at one point Emma turns Scott into Wolverine while they're making out. This prompts him to call her a "sick bitch", which isn't really helping the situation really. I mean, come on Cyclops! If some crazy chick is turning you into things while attempting to make love to you, maybe calling her a sick bitch isn't the best idea. Maybe...leaving the room or something. But no, instead they start fighting, and more name calling flys...it's really not that good of a scene. Plus, all of this Emma Frost talk really got me thinking about the "white queen"; she is pretty ugly. I know she's supossed to be like, a hot plastic girl, but damn! At least leave something real! She looks like a cross between Jessica Drew, a silver sharpie and Paris Hilton. And her outfit is a little...out there.

Anyway, we take a short break from the hot Scott on Emma action and we get to see some comedy. Shadowcat, the little sister of the X-Men, falls naked from the ceiling, apparently coming from Colossus' room. I know, it sounds way perverted but it's actually funny. I mean, i didn't laugh out loud, but I probably chortled or something. Chortled, that's a funny word. Anyway, she runs back up the stairs, through the mansion, in just a bed sheet, mind you. She runs back and makes some joke to Colossus that makes me wonder why this isn't a MAX imprint comic. Ah, just kidding, it's pretty much harmless.

We then get lucky enough to visit back with Scott, who is still in the middle of his apparent lovers spat with Emma. She's still being a bitch to him; questioning why he was the leader when there were other people who would have been a better choice, pointing out that he wasn't the best looking member of the original X-Men, yadda yadda. Her ramblings even give us a cool shot of Storm with a mohawk. How awesome is that?! She EVENTUALLY gets to her point, that Xavier felt sorry for Scott because he's the only guy on the team who didn't have a "thing", so he was made leader. Which could be true, hey, who knows.

Then the comic takes this weird twist and shows a scene of bugs, space and some annoying red shit. I guess, if I had read the whole series thus far, it would have made a bunch more sense, but...I was in the dark.

HOWEVER! Quite possibly the funniest thing in the book comes at the very end, when Kitty and Colossus show up together and Logan happens to be there:
'Bout time indeed.

Transformers (Film) 2007

Oh man. So, I know I said I would post a fiction fight between my Avengers and the Classic Avengers, but...I really don't want to go into a basic fan-fic ideal here. So instead, I'm going to enlighten you on possibly the best movie I've seen this year; Transformers. Now, the whole (film) thing, it's...well, there's already a Transformers the movie, so I just put what Wikipedia has.

Anyway, first a little bit of a preface. For one thing, I am in no way a huge transformers fan. I know Optimus Prime, Megatron, Starscream and Bumblebee, but that's really about it. As a kid, I watched Beast Wars more than G-1 , and I never really clicked with the Transformers scene.

Then there's my cousin Jake. He's a bit younger than I am but he is a huge Transformers fan. He collects the toys, he watched every show, and he collects the comics that come out every now and again. He has posters of Ironhide and Jazz, bots that I had never even heard of. He's a hardcore Trans-fan, while I'm just some schmoe who knew that they existed. We decided to see the movie together, not react or anything, and see, at the end, what each person liked and disliked. So this is my review, and I'll stick his opions at the end.

The acting, that's a great place to start things. First let me say that I like Shia Labeouf. I mean, he's a good actor, he's funny, and for some reason he's a guy people love to hate. But he just...blew me away in this movie. The acting is golden. All of the humans, except a few characters are just...nailed perfect. I was really happy with Shia, the main girl, and all the soldiers, who i thought were just spot on with their portrayal. I didn't like the Sector 7 guy; he was pretty...weird. Was he good, was he bad, it's not really revealed during the movie, and I thought that just made things confusing. Plus, I thought some of the character development was a little bit tacked on and felt unnecessary (the girl having a police record, for example). And there were a few character who I thought didn't really serve a purpose, like Anthony Anderson. I realize they need a person to know that the Decepticons were coming, but the fact that they poured 30 minutes into devolving a character who's sole purpose was to provide comedy and a bit of a warning seemed like a bit of a waste.

The Transformers. All of the Autobots were great. I liked the new designs, I liked the way that they spoke, and I just liked them; they were really...good in their design. The Decepticons were a bit underused and underplayed, but the ones that were shown I liked a lot. I was glad to see Starscream, who was done right, I thought Megatron was wonderful, and even little Frenzy wasn't that bad. The rest of them, though, were a bit weak on the characterization side. I couldn't even tell you most of the names of the Decepticons. Also, Ratchet, the Search and Rescue Autobot was pretty weak too. He's the only Autobot I didn't like, which shows you how good the others were handled.

The story was great, and I was really wrapped up in it. it was like Fantastic Four; I knew how long it was, but it seemed to go quicker than it was. That's good; the movie moved very quickly, and the pacing was only broken one or two times. Plus, I was surprised at how many times I laughed out loud. It was honestly funny.

What didn't I like? Well, I won't lie, it was a campy film. A lot of the shots, dialog and jokes were only funny in a "let go of the seriousness of it all" kind of a way. I mean, if you went in there expecting a masterpiece on the scale of Citizen Kane or Gone with the Wind, well, you're going to be sorely disappointed. But if you go there with some friends ready to see GIANT ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH-OTHER, prepared to be in love.

So my final verdict? I won't lie, it could have been better, but...for what it was, I really liked it. Will i go see it again? I doubt it...will I get it on DVD? Probably....do I recommend it? Yes, if you can enjoy a film that's about fighting giant transforming robots. My score? an 8/10. It's worth seeing it for the CGI effects alone.

Oh, and Jake, my cousin? He hated it. Claimed it ruined his childhood and it was terible compared to G1 carttons. And that's the people who hate this movie; G1 freaks and Bay-haters.

I liked it.