Ultimate Fantastic Four #33

I told you, finally, I would update with a comic review, and here I am, with a review of Ultimate Fantastic Four number thirty three!
/Now, me and the Fantastic Four and not exactly on the best terms. Sure, I like them, but I find them...boring sometimes. Way too much cosmic junk going on for me. But I do love the Ultimate universe (there's something about it being written as a summer blockbuster that makes me fall in love with it), so it's even. Look at Sue Storm on the cover, though. What in the hell is tht outfit? I mean...is that even comfortable? And why is she so ripped? And why is the Thing completely covered in a...feminine looking jumper? And why does Reed look so young?! One answer, gents. You're in the ultimate universe now, bub.

Anyway, this story arc is an introduction to the Eternals, a group which, when summed up lightly, is made up of proto-humans who got experiments on and became these super-human guys who were a little hazy on the good or evil side. Think of it this way; Inhumans, without the asshole complex, or super-heroes that live forever.

Anyway, they come to earth looking for a seed of some sort, which for some reason means they have to have come to earth to shoot Reed Richards and drive around on these motorcycle things. I don't know, it's weird. Also, at one point, they control trees and make them bend and guard a path, which was actually kind of cool.

This was a pretty cool part; check out Reed's fantastic four biker get-up. Looks like he's a character in Star Wars or something. And Sue looks pretty much the same way, all duped up in that jacket. And another thing, why does Reed have to be so young? I know i mentioned this as a joke earlier, but damn! In 616 continuity, he's supposed to be like, a big brother, an example for all of the n00ber heroes who need guidance. In this comic, he's what? 20? Now I know that's just nitpicking, but still, something about it just didn't seem right. And I guess I'm a hypocrite, because I love the changes in Ultimate X-Men and hate them here. But still, something feels wrong about it, you know?

Anyway, the story picks up and gets interesting when Reed takes the machines the Eternals were riding back to his lab. The next morning, though, the Eternals bust down the door and decided, hey, it's a fightin' time!

I love the Ultimate Universe. I think Ultimates and Ultimate X-Men are by far some of my favorites things to read. However, I really just can not get into Ultimate Fantastic Four. I don't know why. But...it's just the facts.

And we're back!

I've decided to kick start this whole blog once again. Why? Well, I have a lot less downtime in my life now, I read less comics, and I'm saving for an Xbox360, which means I have pretty much no money to buy new comics anymore.

BUT I'M DEDICATED. And plus, I miss writing in this blog. So I've decided to officially re-open Derek's Comic Extravaganza!

...starting tonight. Or maybe tomorrow. But I'll hopefully re-kickstart this baby in the next week. Am I promising daily updates? No, not at all. But hopefully it'll be...tri-weekly.

Over and out.

Spider-man Marvel Knights #8

Marvel Knights, it's a hell of an imprint. You know, it seems I always bask the comics before I review them; I don't really like X-Men, I don't like Fantastic Four, the Silver Surfer is a weakling, ect. But I really, really like Spider-man. He's by far my favorite hero...in anything, DC, Marvel or otherwise.

But at first, i was a little wary about this comic. Why? Well, first of all, Marvel Knights seemed really...unappealing to me, back in the day. A new imprint, fah, it's just a sales push! Plus, this comic features, on it's cover, Venom, who had been at this point very whored out since his original debut. I mean, Carnage, Maximum Carnage, Toxin, Hybrid, Planet of the Symboites...there were a lot of things that were made from Venom just because he sold comic books. I mean, who doesn't love a dark version of Spider-man?

Anyway, this comic starts off right in the middle of a fight that started last issue. Venom, now under the control of Angelo Fortunato, is attacking Spidey in the middle of his High School reunion. Why doesn't Eddie Brock control Venom anymore? Well, he sold it, to the highest bidder. Donated the money to charity and everything. he's really a nice guy, despite all the mean, evil things he's done to Peter over the years.

Oh yeah, did I mention that Venom killed someone when he crashed the party? Well, he did, and Spider-man is mighty pissed off about that. They take the rumble to the showers of Peter's old High school, and Peter starts narrating the story with those little blue bubbles, just the way we like it. Peter is really pissed off at this whole thing, and so he's not holding back; it's a lot like that Back in Black arc that's going now. Anyway, there's this really good scene where this guy is trying to pick up MJ, and he tells her that he's Spider-man. Just as he finishes inviting her back to his place to see the "blue and red pajamas", the real Spider-man bursts through the wall, grappling with Venom, leaving our rather embarrassed friend to say, "Okay, now I just feel stupid". Ah, comic book humor. Gotta love it.

Anyway, the two combants just keep beating the crap out one another. Spidey has the upper hand, but Venom keeps with his attacks. This Venom is huge; two times bigger than the first one, and he knows all of Spider-man's moves. They continue the tumble into the street, and Spider-man has to save a few people from the evil Venom. He starts calling him names, though, and that's his ultimate card; picking on a young man.

Hell, Venom almost wins. He's so close he could, well, see it. But he messes up. Egged on by Spider-man's mocking, he loses faith in himself, and starts to doubt all his moves. He literally sikes himself out of killing Peter, completely. He flees. And you know what? The symbiote doesn't like a flee-er. Mid jump, the symboite pulls off of poor Angelo, who falls to his death.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the tragic tale of Marvel Knights 8. Thanks you.

My Favorite Comic Book Movies

I want to update, I really do, and I swear that I'll try really hard to get a few comic posts up this week.

But until then, how about something to tide ME over? My top 5 comic book movies.

5. X-Men
I only really had a few problems with this movie. For one, there weren't may actual X-Men in it. Storm, Cyclops, Wolverine (who isn't part of the team for most of the movie), Rogue (who played the Damsel in Distress role), and Jean Gray...as a DOCTOR!? But it was a good movie, espically the scenes with Magento and his Brotherhood. Toad was cool, Sabertooth was good...the train station fight is pretty wild. It's good enough to hit 5 on my list.

4. 300

A decent, recent flick, 300 was possibly the coolest movie experience I've ever seen. So much action, so many good one liners, it was the ultimate guy movie, and it had a pretty good story too. It helps that it was based off of historical events. Believe it or not, 300 is my second most-read-comic of all time, with the top spot being crowned by Watchmen.

3. Batman Begins
This is the only DC movie on my list...which really says something about the state of DC movies. I'm not the greatest Bat-fan, but I can enjoy a good movie. Plus, the sequel looks really good, so...pretty much, if it can start a franchise, keep me entertained AND have the dude that played Qui-Gon in it, it's gold in my book.

2. Spider-man

I know a lot of people like the sequel over the first one, but honestly I like the first Spider-man about it. It's just...more...campy, which is a word I hate, but it is I like having Peter as a young high-schooler and not an emo college student. And this movie pretty much single handely led to the ultimate universe. So that's good too.

1. X2: X-men United


The popular opinion gets the nod from me. Let's see...the story is great, it has Nightcrawler, it has Colossus, it has Lady Deathstrike...this movie really has it all. I watch it a lot, and I gotta say it is one hell of a movie.

So there it is, my list of the 5 best comic films. No real surprises, I'm guessing. Look forward to some real updates soon!

Astonishing X-Men v.3 #14

So let's just get this out there; I am not really a huge X-Men fan. It's not that I hate mutants or anything, it's just...I never really find them interesting. I'll take Spider-man and Daredevil over Cyclops and Wolverine any day. So on it's a rare day when I get a X-Men comic. Well, except Ultimate X-Men. I mostly get that in trade format though. It helped that my High School library had the first...8. ANYWAY.

This is a pretty weird comic in itself. It takes place towards the end of a story arc which pits the X-Men against a new version of the Hellfire Club, which is a group of assholes who always for some reason hassle the X-Men's groins. I never really understood the point of this super-evil super group, who, instead of being evil, play chess. This group is made up of Cassandra Nova (What a clever name!), Emma Frost, Perfection, and some other losers that are pretty much thrown in the be there.

This issue doesn't really have much of the bad guys, though. it really focuses more on Cyclops, who is being mentally raped by Ema Frost. Seriously, she tries everything. She even turns herself into Jean Grey to try to get in his pants. Women. Talk about crazy. They keep on chatting it up, and at one point Emma turns Scott into Wolverine while they're making out. This prompts him to call her a "sick bitch", which isn't really helping the situation really. I mean, come on Cyclops! If some crazy chick is turning you into things while attempting to make love to you, maybe calling her a sick bitch isn't the best idea. Maybe...leaving the room or something. But no, instead they start fighting, and more name calling flys...it's really not that good of a scene. Plus, all of this Emma Frost talk really got me thinking about the "white queen"; she is pretty ugly. I know she's supossed to be like, a hot plastic girl, but damn! At least leave something real! She looks like a cross between Jessica Drew, a silver sharpie and Paris Hilton. And her outfit is a little...out there.

Anyway, we take a short break from the hot Scott on Emma action and we get to see some comedy. Shadowcat, the little sister of the X-Men, falls naked from the ceiling, apparently coming from Colossus' room. I know, it sounds way perverted but it's actually funny. I mean, i didn't laugh out loud, but I probably chortled or something. Chortled, that's a funny word. Anyway, she runs back up the stairs, through the mansion, in just a bed sheet, mind you. She runs back and makes some joke to Colossus that makes me wonder why this isn't a MAX imprint comic. Ah, just kidding, it's pretty much harmless.

We then get lucky enough to visit back with Scott, who is still in the middle of his apparent lovers spat with Emma. She's still being a bitch to him; questioning why he was the leader when there were other people who would have been a better choice, pointing out that he wasn't the best looking member of the original X-Men, yadda yadda. Her ramblings even give us a cool shot of Storm with a mohawk. How awesome is that?! She EVENTUALLY gets to her point, that Xavier felt sorry for Scott because he's the only guy on the team who didn't have a "thing", so he was made leader. Which could be true, hey, who knows.

Then the comic takes this weird twist and shows a scene of bugs, space and some annoying red shit. I guess, if I had read the whole series thus far, it would have made a bunch more sense, but...I was in the dark.

HOWEVER! Quite possibly the funniest thing in the book comes at the very end, when Kitty and Colossus show up together and Logan happens to be there:
'Bout time indeed.

Transformers (Film) 2007

Oh man. So, I know I said I would post a fiction fight between my Avengers and the Classic Avengers, but...I really don't want to go into a basic fan-fic ideal here. So instead, I'm going to enlighten you on possibly the best movie I've seen this year; Transformers. Now, the whole (film) thing, it's...well, there's already a Transformers the movie, so I just put what Wikipedia has.

Anyway, first a little bit of a preface. For one thing, I am in no way a huge transformers fan. I know Optimus Prime, Megatron, Starscream and Bumblebee, but that's really about it. As a kid, I watched Beast Wars more than G-1 , and I never really clicked with the Transformers scene.

Then there's my cousin Jake. He's a bit younger than I am but he is a huge Transformers fan. He collects the toys, he watched every show, and he collects the comics that come out every now and again. He has posters of Ironhide and Jazz, bots that I had never even heard of. He's a hardcore Trans-fan, while I'm just some schmoe who knew that they existed. We decided to see the movie together, not react or anything, and see, at the end, what each person liked and disliked. So this is my review, and I'll stick his opions at the end.

The acting, that's a great place to start things. First let me say that I like Shia Labeouf. I mean, he's a good actor, he's funny, and for some reason he's a guy people love to hate. But he just...blew me away in this movie. The acting is golden. All of the humans, except a few characters are just...nailed perfect. I was really happy with Shia, the main girl, and all the soldiers, who i thought were just spot on with their portrayal. I didn't like the Sector 7 guy; he was pretty...weird. Was he good, was he bad, it's not really revealed during the movie, and I thought that just made things confusing. Plus, I thought some of the character development was a little bit tacked on and felt unnecessary (the girl having a police record, for example). And there were a few character who I thought didn't really serve a purpose, like Anthony Anderson. I realize they need a person to know that the Decepticons were coming, but the fact that they poured 30 minutes into devolving a character who's sole purpose was to provide comedy and a bit of a warning seemed like a bit of a waste.

The Transformers. All of the Autobots were great. I liked the new designs, I liked the way that they spoke, and I just liked them; they were really...good in their design. The Decepticons were a bit underused and underplayed, but the ones that were shown I liked a lot. I was glad to see Starscream, who was done right, I thought Megatron was wonderful, and even little Frenzy wasn't that bad. The rest of them, though, were a bit weak on the characterization side. I couldn't even tell you most of the names of the Decepticons. Also, Ratchet, the Search and Rescue Autobot was pretty weak too. He's the only Autobot I didn't like, which shows you how good the others were handled.

The story was great, and I was really wrapped up in it. it was like Fantastic Four; I knew how long it was, but it seemed to go quicker than it was. That's good; the movie moved very quickly, and the pacing was only broken one or two times. Plus, I was surprised at how many times I laughed out loud. It was honestly funny.

What didn't I like? Well, I won't lie, it was a campy film. A lot of the shots, dialog and jokes were only funny in a "let go of the seriousness of it all" kind of a way. I mean, if you went in there expecting a masterpiece on the scale of Citizen Kane or Gone with the Wind, well, you're going to be sorely disappointed. But if you go there with some friends ready to see GIANT ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH-OTHER, prepared to be in love.

So my final verdict? I won't lie, it could have been better, but...for what it was, I really liked it. Will i go see it again? I doubt it...will I get it on DVD? Probably....do I recommend it? Yes, if you can enjoy a film that's about fighting giant transforming robots. My score? an 8/10. It's worth seeing it for the CGI effects alone.

Oh, and Jake, my cousin? He hated it. Claimed it ruined his childhood and it was terible compared to G1 carttons. And that's the people who hate this movie; G1 freaks and Bay-haters.

I liked it.

My Awesome Avenger's team.

So, I've decided to post, what i think, would be the very best 8 man Avenger team. And yes, I know the folks at Dave's Long Box did this with the X-Men. But it's so much fun. Also, I got the little pictures from Ze Ball Breaker Micro-Heros Site.

Now, here's a classic team.

Captain America. You knew this guy had to be on the list; he's a classic Avenger. Plus he's headstrong and smart as hell, and fit enough to wrestle an ox to the ground. They don't call him the peak of the human form for no reason! Plus he's got that great shield throw thing. Man that's awesome.

Iron Man, aka Tony Stark. Another classic guy, he's got money, a suit of armor, and a hideout that doesn't quit! Sure, these days the guy has become a huge ass and he's hated by a lot of people, but there were some times when Tony WAS the avengers. Plus he's smart. That's a plus.


Hank Pym, seen here is his Ant Man get-up, although any of them would work. Really, I like Pym's other ego, Giant Man, better, since he gets big AND little, but this one works well too. I guess he's good for recon, small spaces, and lifting more than his own weight. And he's smart, too.


Janet Pym. Honestly, I hate Janet, but I couldn't leave her off of a classic Avenger list. She's pretty much just riding on the wave that her husband, Hank, put out for her. Sure, she can fly, and shoot beams and shit, but that's not that awesome when you really think about it. Plus she always, ALWAYS plays the poor picked upon card. But what can you do...



THE HULK! More like the man! Bruce Banner, AKA the Hulk. Now, the Hulk is your average tank AND MORE. He can beat things up, he can take hits like there's no tomorrow, and he's green! Plus, in human form, Banner's smarter than probably Pym AND Stark. There is a downside that he could go bonkers and kill everything, including teammates, but that's what you do when you got a guy like this. You put up with that shit.

Ah, Black Widow. Some Russian chick who's really good with guns, if you know what I mean. I mean she's really good with firearms. Which she is, actually, she's one of the best shots around. Plus she's got that ex Soviet zing, AND she can go stealth for days at a time. She's got that downside "she's a spy, she's not a spy" thing, but hey, who doesn't?

Oh my GOD. Thor is a powerhouse. He's got a bunch of good things that make him a beast. He flies. He summons lightning. He's got that crazy ass hammer that breaks whatever it hits. And he's immortal. Plus he loves to get drunk. And he speaks with that crazy ass Thou Doth Nay Beatith Me shit. Oh man I love this guy.

And finally, The Scarlett Witch. More like the ScarLEET Witch. She's your token mutant, your token crazy woman, your token magic user, she just fills up all these spots that need to be taken. And the best part is, she's related to a bad guy, so she can play that "Daddy don't do it" shit and stop an attack. And she has a thing for robots. Tony Stark's scoring, OH YEAH.


So that's a pretty classic Avenger's squad. But how would my own come out?

Hawkeye, Clint Barton. I know, you were thinking, "Isn't he a classic Avenger?" Nope. First of all, Hawkeye's pretty smart, smart enough to run a team. He's proved himself before. Sure, he gets a little pissy sometimes. but hey, a good team needs a little kick in the rear to get going. Plus, I've got him in that cool pimp gear. Check out those shades. Hater blockers! Plus, he can just sit back, shot some arrows, and mess shit up. Hopefully.

The second in command is the mutant new Swordsman, Andreas Von Strucker. I know what's going through your head: Wait, isn't he evil and powerless? Nope! He's reformed, for the time, relatively, and can still shoot those magic beams of his...through his sword! So why put him as the second in command? Well, he "gets" Hawkeye, and he's a really powerful guy. Again, he has the dickish elitist complex, but he's still cool. Just a little nuts. And he's incestuous. And bisexual. But that doesn't mean he's a bad fighter!

USAgent! Super patriot! Whatever you want to call him, just don't call him Captain America. I know. It's almost a cop out, putting this guy on a team I'm calling revolutionary. But he's a good fighter, almost as good as Cap. He's got his own, more bad-ass shield, and he can kick ass like non other. This guy is a brawler; he's my Steve Rogers, just missing the leadership role.


Sasquatch. This guy, honestly, may be the most important part of my team. Why? Well, he's the Thor, Hulk and Pym all wrapped in one. He's a monster, a tank, a bruiser, can take a major hit, and he's smart as all hell. Plus he's like Beast, since he has paws, fur, sharp claws, and agility. He's probably the best person I have on my team, no lie. If he goes down...we're screwed!

Demolition Man. Another strong gy, he could PROBABLY grapple with the Hulk for a little bit. He's a strong guy, and he can hit, and take a hit, so that's good. Plus, he's got a pretty kickass house and he's got a nice outfit, too. Sure, he's lost a few marbles, but he's still solid...enough.

Ms. Marvel, a solid choice. Sure, she's gone mainstream now, but she's packing a wallop that no one can take. She can fly, she can beat the shit out of things, she's fast as a bullet, and she can shoot photon blasts. Sure, she blows as a leader, which is why I'd only let her be a sub-leader; give her Swordsman and USAgent and let her run wild.

Yep, Moon knight. That's right, the man of the shadows, the lone night ranger. He'll be my recon man, my nightcrawler. He just...sits back in the shadows and waits, and then he beats the shit out of whomever comes near him. He throws those rip off batarang things, and he's a bit emo, but he's pretty much as sane as 50 percent of the team. He's just like Bullseye in the New Thunderbolts. Chill, son. You'll get yours.

Lionheart, what a gal this is. She can blast her way out of anything, can create force fields, and I think she can fly too. Plus she's single, so any of the guys in the group can try their best. Plus she's got a neat uniform, and sword thing. Oh yeah.


What a team. So what would happen if my team fought the first team?? I'll post what I think the outcome would be tomorrow. Should be worth it.

Spider-Man 2099 #3

Ah, memories. The 2099 series, which was launched right around the first time I got into comics, sure was a blast. Take the most popular people from the current Marvel comics and put them in the future with a bunch of new villains, a whole new setting, and give them new powers, uniforms and identities and you got it. One of the main comics from this Imprint is Spider-man 2099.

In this comic we follow Miguel O'Hara, the man with the race-dubious name. HE works for this company, Alchemax, that works and tinkers with animal and human DNA. They also make drugs. They're also evil. Apparently, all companies in 2099 are evil. Not only that, but they are in control of the United States of America. That's right, no more Senate, states or President. One nation under CVS. Basically.

But Miguel is a different man. He's tired of all this rocketry among his nation. So he decides to quit. His boss doesn't exactly want this to happen so he poisons Miguel with this drug that makes you crave more until you go crazy. Sounds like a bad stick. So our hero has a choice; go crazy but stand up for his beliefs, screw his morals and go back to work for less pay and more drugs, or he can try his awesome new DNA machine on himself to try to cure his addiction.

And dangammit, it works! But there are some strange side effects. For one, he's turned into the new Spider-Man. Well...that's really the only side effect, I suppose. He gets fangs, and claws, and the usual speed enhancements that comes with being Spider-man.

This issue deals with Miguel's old work trying to track down and kill him. They don't know he's Spider-Man 2099, but they do know that this new spider menace came from their labs. So they send out Venture a thug who really wants to mess up Spider-man's day. The action starts pretty early when the two big'uns start brawling. Unfortunately, the Cult of Thor decide to help out Spider-Man, which is something he really doesn't need OR want. It's a bad situation all around, really. In fact, on of the Thorrites ends up dead, which the other claim is a sign of the end of days. Yeesh, it's always the apocalypse with these cults. Even in the future.

So Spider-man decides to call it a day and to get the hell out of dodge. But he's messing with the Venture for God's sake. There's not running from him! We see a chase around the city, through the air and some buildings, which eventually ends with Miguel bound up and knocked out (it always ends this way...). He breaks his bonds which sets up another running battle in the city.

This time though, Miguel decides to stand and fight. And he does. He beats the shit out of the bad guy, and caves his legs up so bad, Venture won't ever stand up again. And that's the end of that Spider-man 2099 chapter!

It's a great opening to a great series. It's basically a reboot in the future, which is nice; it's not the Ultimate Universe, which is just current retelling, but it's nice. It's got it's own flavor, by far, and it is an...acquired taste. But this issue is pretty reflective of the whole idea; it's exciting, it's fun, it's fast. Expect more 2099 reviews in the future.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Spoilers within, baby.

So, I saw Rise of the Silver Surfer again. And I thought it was just as good as the first time I saw it. This time I looked for more things; I looked at the story harder, the effects, the little things more. I basically micro-reviewed the whole film in my head. And I gotta tell you...it's good.

Let's start with the things that ruined the first movie. "It was way too kiddy". Now, Rise of the Silver Surfer does have a PG rating, but it is way less kiddy than the first one. First of all, the story is way darker. The world is going to END. There's this wicked scene where the Silver Surfer is being tortured by this mad scientist guy. And we see a guy literally get caramelized right on the screen by Doom the surfer. Sure, it does have some childish moments, but it still has a great sense, and the Human Torch is a lot less dickish in this one.

"There were too many jokes". Sure, in this one there were a lot of jokes, too. But they were a lot funnier than the first. I found myself actually laughing out loud at some things, which is telling, since I don't find movies ha-ha funny most of the times. but this movie, unlike the first, didn't try to pass itself off as a comedy. It was a super-hero action flick, and it showed. It showed.

So now let's start with things the movie did wrong. It was short. It was an hour and a half, which can be good, but it really left me wanting more. I mean, it filled up the whole 90 minutes, and there wasn't really a spot where it was dragging or anything bad. In fact, I thought the pacing was one of the higher points. I just wish there was...more.

Also, there were still a lot of moments when it had a Nickelodeon like feel. The Thing saying "My Bad", Ben having to squeeze himself on a commercials airliner, all these things just seem to be really childish. But I know why; they have to have SOME things to keep kids interested. It is, after all, a kid's movie.

And finally, Sue Storm. I'm still a little hung on this one. I don't know if it's Alba's bad acting, if the script was written to make both the character and actor appear in a bad light, or what, but the invisible woman comes off as a bitch during the whole film. She's annoying, she yells at Reed way too much, she has these insane sudden mood swings, and she's not really the involved. Plus, she has that death scene that was SO predictable and SO fake it blew my mind.

So what did they do right? Well, luckily, a lot of the movie is done right. The CGI was WONDERFUL. The Silver Surfer was amazing; I mean, he looked so real it was almost scary. Galactus Cloud was also great, I mean, they took something as un-menacing as a cloud and gave it an intimidating look that really is kind of spooky. I mean, it's not the great planet eater we all know and love, but it works. Which is another thing. I keep seeing people blast Galactus, but it had to be done this way. Imagine you've never seen a comic, and you go to see a movie, and the bad guy is a big dude in a purple suit who eats planets. Seriously. The Cosmic Cloud force of nature thing is so much better.

Another thing done right was Johnny Storm. In the first film, the Human Torch is the world's biggest asshole. In fact, he's mostly just a joke for most of the movie. I hated him in that movie. But in this one, he's great! The character is allowed to, and has, grown up a lot since the last time we saw him. Not only that, but seeing him go Super Skrull on Silver Doom's ass was GREAT.

So overall, this is defienetly a good movie. It seemes to get a lot of negative press, which is a shame. In terms of Comic Book Movies, this one goes somewhere between Spider-man 3 and the first X-Men. My grade? A 7.5/10, or a solid C+.

So go see it.

Fantastic Four: The Animated Series (1994)

Keeping with the whole "it's a mad mad mad mad Silver Surfer week", I went to the library and what did I find but the complete Fantastic Four Animated Seires, the one from the early 90s. I could hardly hold in my jubilation as I ran to the front desk to check it out.

Okay, it wasn't quite that dramatic, but it was pretty exciting to find it. I got it home and after a little fiddling around with my DVD player, watched a few episodes.

It's pretty nice to see the Fantastic Four's long history and sagas explained in 22 minute clippets. I watched episode after episode, and you know what? It wasn't terrible. Sure, there were a lot of weird, boring, oddball moments, and some cheap endings, and a lot of weird, boring comedy, and the music was pretty overbearing, but I couldn't stop watching it. And it wasn't like it was a train wreck or anything, where you want to look away, but can't. I was having a genuinely good time watching all of these episodes.

The origin episode was pretty rushed. I couldn't tell if Ben liked his powers, or not. But still, it wasn't without it's charm. Each episode goes like this; The Fantastic Four are doing something weird (playing a game, doing yoga, getting sued, going to a telethon), when suddenly, an attack comes! They investigate, and either Sue gets kidnapped, they're faced with some extraordinary goal, or they find out that they were tricked. They then save Sue/the world/New York, and get home just in time to get an eviction notice from their landlady.

Bottom line: I love this series, and it loves me. Accept it.

I love the Silver Surfer. (Silver Surfer Vol. 2 #1)

Well, it's official. I've bought into all the Silver Surfer hype. I blame it partially on Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (expect a review sometime next week after I see it again, but I'll give you a hint; I LOVED it). I also lay some blame on Silver Surfer: Requiem, which could be the greatest Marvel Knights title...ever. And I also blame it on the fact that I just unlocked said Silver Surfer in the video game Marvel: Ultimate Alliance, something that took a lot of work and time. Whatever it is that's the driving force between it all, I just can not get enough Norrin Radd. Besides the two aforementioned medias covering the Surfer, we also got the newest arc of Ultimate Fantastic Four (of which I have every single issue), a slew of back comics I have, and the Fantastic Four Animated show from the early 90s. So I'm sure I'll have my Silver Surfer fix canceled out by the end of the weekend. But this will be a hell of a wild ride until then!

Let's start it off with a nice, with a review of Silver Surfer Vol. 2! That's right, the whole series!


Gotcha! For some reason, this series is only one issue long. I don't quite get why. I mean, it's not like they canceled it on bad sales, unless this gem didn't sell at all, which...for a first issue to bomb enough to close a whole line, well...yeah. So it had to be some deal where Marvel just didn't want to get another series going. So this might as well have been a one shot.

It starts out pretty weird. The Silver Surfer is basically a crashed out, emo drunk who doesn't care about his powers, his board, his friends; anything. he just wants to get off earth. The next couple pages recap what happened so far; the whole story, how Norrin decided to become Galactus's lackey to save his homeworld; how he's stuck on Earth since he rebelled against his master, and the whole story about how he's had adventures on Earth but he really wants to go back to the stars. We get it, he's annoyed to have to live on our planets. Yeesh.

However, the Surfer gets what drunks call a moment of clarity. He realizes, hey, I'm a man, and I can fly on a surfboard! Why should I be an emo! So he tries to fly through the barrier Galactus set up for him. The whole sequences goes like this; you know when you're a kid, and you have a nightmare about a monster that lives in your basement? But when you grow up, you realize that it was just a heater? Well, the Surfer tries to pull one of them. He flies as fast as he can towards the planet arrest fence that Galactus has set up, but it doesn't matter. He smashes into it anyway, and falls back to earth all...sullen like.

Luckily, his Earth friends (who he basically trashed earlier in the issue) have found a way to let him go back to space. As the classic The Who song "I'm Free" blares in the backround, Norrin smashes through the barrier. He can't go back, but hey, who needs to go to earth when you can go to ANY OTHER PLANET?! So he flies around and then decides, hey, I haven't seen my mom in a while, and he flies his silver self back to his home planet.

When he gets there, though...it's messed up. The whole world is barren, and the only people still around are savages who live in little camps. Turns out the big G man (no, not Lawrence Taylor) decided "Hey, if Surfer wants to revolt, then I can eat his planet". Apparently, everyone blames the Surfer for this, and they beat the hell out of him pretty much unmercifully. He pulls a Black Bolt and knocks out everyone while shouting. We then get the whole backstory on what I said a few sentences ago.

Then Surfer finds out something REALLY bad! His chick is in Mephisto's realm, and there's only one guy bad enough to get her back! So Norrin goes and has a feild day on some hell monsters before he...well, gets eaten by a living plant. He blasts his way out a few pages later (which even impresses Mephisto). After exchanging some words, he fights the freakin' DEVIL! How crazy is that?! Think about it; this is a one issue long series, and it features a fight between the DEVIL OF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE and a souped up Silver Surfer!

Okay, so the fight is a cop out. It's just a shoving match. Surfer manages to punk out Mephisto, and he grabs his girlfriend and blasts himself through not only Hell, but the barrier that Galactus set up for him. Proving, once and for all, that it's not the size of the cosmic power. It's the magic you do with it. He gets back to the ole' planet he grew up one, and everyone likes him. They really like him! But he deices, hey, why stay with my queen and the people that accept me?! Let's ride again! And BAM! Que credits, the Surfer would be buried for a while only to come out a job some people (until his 3rd series came around, anyway). You know what the weirdest part of the comic is? The Surfer gets out of Galactus' barrier with a little shot of his power. Now, you're telling me he NEVER TRIED THAT?! Uh...seems like it would be the first think I would try. Crazy ass...surfers.

This was a hell of a series! If only it wasn't a one shot...

Opinion: The Punisher Snafu

So, this is an example of a opinion post, which I'll try to keep to a bare minimum. Each time, I'll discuss something in the Marvel Universe; something that's gone astray, something I really liked/disliked, or, in this case, something that has just been bothering me for a while. In this case, it's everyone's favorite Vietnam Loony, The Punisher (Frank Castle).

Now, currently, there are two Punisher titles; Punisher MAX (Which runs under the MAX imprint, and really isn't considered part of the Marvel storyline), and Punisher: War Journal (which came out about 7 months or so ago, during the massive Civil War crossover event). So what's my problem? Well, each of the titles has a huge flaw in it; in War Journal, they make Frank into a joke, basically a cartoony version of what he should be. Take a look at this image on the right. This is a cover from War Journal. Lately, Frank's been running around in this costume! It's terrible. He is not a person who is supposed to play dress up, and a person who isn't supposed to hide his face. Honestly, the whole thing is just BAD! Look at that gun, giant, cartoony, unrealistic...I mean, that is not what the Punisher is supposed to be.

So what do I think is going on with the cover, the uniform, and the laser gun? Well, I think that Marvel is trying very hard to make a buck off of Cap's death; they have that "Death of Captain America" line going, they announced it on the news, they printed what? Three specials? And they put the Punisher in this outrageous uniform so people in stores will go "Gee, I wonder what this is about? Is this Captain America?". They is a reason that's stated in the comics; Punisher's enemy, Hate Monger, had a new Captain America related outfit. So Frank Castle decides to fight fire with fire, a tactic that...never works, and he ends up "playing dress up" and tries to beat crap out of everything. Doesn't work well. But still, it's terrible that he's in that uniform to start with.

Check this out; it's from an old What If? Comic, and it has Punisher as Captain America. Notice something? Cap's clothes are easily filled by Frank. If they really wanted to make a buck and keep the candle that is Captain America's legacy alive, why not just...put Punisher in the stripes? I promise it would have sold a lot more titles, because more people would think "Damn, is Cap Back? Wait, what is the Punisher doing? This is awesome!" Insted, they went "...why is a grown man dressed in a Halloween costume with goggles and a super soaker?" Honestly, it was the goggles that gut me the most, too. So the bottom line is this; The Punisher: War Journal could be a lot better, and I think it will. I think it'll find it's groove, it's..."niche", and that it'll become a well liked piece of work. But honestly, the whole Frank as Steve Rogers gimmick didn't do it for me at all.

Now we go to Punisher: Max. Now, I don't like the Max way of life, I'll just come out and say it. Something about having a softcore porno comic imprint doesn't sit well with me. It could be the fact that I read US War Machine (which I thought was terrible, but a lot of people I know do like it...so...), which was terrible, it could be the whole stigma related with a 18+ year old only medium that's made orginally for kids, or it could be that, since it's not mainstream, weaker writers are put on it. Whatever it is, I don't like MAX, or Punisher MAX. Or Max Weinberg. Just kidding, I love Max Weinberg.

Punisher MAX has three big problems; Cursing for the sake of cursing, sex for the sake of sex, and gore for the sake of gore. A lot of times, it's just Frank shooting people, and calling people...bad names. There's a storyline, sure, but that seems to take a sideline to the rest of it all. It's not about taking out criminals, it's about blowing their brains all over the place while shouting obscenities and going to a strip club to celebrate afterwards. Frank's an old man in this continuity, and it doesn't seem to slow him down at all. He still gets shot, stabbed, and maimed, but he gets up. I think that's another reason I don't like it. It tries to be ultra edgy, realistic, and dark, but when a 60 year old man kills 100s of drug lords, it just seemed stretched.

Bottom line is this; War Journal and MAX need to be combined. They need to have a Punisher title that is dark, a little violent, "real" and straight forward. MAX needs to be toned down, and War Journal needs to be jacked up a bit. Do I think a middle ground will ever be hit? No. DO I think War Journal will make it a long time, and will live to outshine MAX as Frank's flagship comic? Probably not. MAX is the only MAX that people...like. It's not going to be eclipsed. I would love to see War Journal keep going, I would love to see it get renewed, and I would love for it to just...keep pumping out titles, as long as they were gimmick free. And I think if that happens, than things will be looking way up for Frank Castle. But until that occurs, The Punisher will be stuff forever in a SNAFU type Limbo, just waiting to get a chance to really shine and appeal to everyone.

Marvel Zombies #1

That's right! I decided to start off with a real classic, something for everyone to enjoy. And who doesn't love Marvel Zombies, the mini that was critically acclaimed and was adored by fans of all age.

The action starts off with everyone's favorite villain, Magneto, running through what appears to be a post apocalyptic run down version of New York. It doesn't take long for the action to start, and Magneto goes toe to toe with the Zombie version of the Avengers! Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-man, they're all there, and they all want a piece of Magneto.

But Mags...he doesn't go down without a fight. He manages to take a few guys out with him, including my personal favorite, Hawkeye (who gets decapitated). He even takes out the top of "Colonel" America's head, using his very own shield! We even get a neat cameo of the Moon Knight, one of those underrated, under loved heroes.


Eventually, though, Magneto bites it...erm...gets bitten by the Wasp, and all hell breaks loose as he get romped by a group of heroes including, but not limited to, Thor, Giant Man, Wolverine, and Daredevil. After the frenzy calms down, the group sits back and reflects on all the quaintness of being a zombie; eating flesh, being undead...not bathing, and being painless living corpses. Eventually, though, Giant Man points out that it's not all roses and kadoodles, as they are running out of a food source. The Zombies talk about eating each other, and there's this really creepy scene where the Hulk becomes Banner, which causes Banner's stomach to explode. Angel and Luke Cage get really freak out about this, and hey, who wouldn't?

So right after Pym points out the whole "running out of food" crisis, guess who shows up? That's right - the Silver Surfer! And that's how this issue ends, with the Zombie Avengers gettin' ready for hunting time against the cosmic enforcer himself.

So what did I think, exactly? Well, I personally LOVED it. It's funny, it's crass, it's easy to get in to - call me a n00b, but this was one of the first series I read in a long time, and it really boosted me into the rest of the comic world. The great thing is the little differences; Captain America was apparently once the president; Thor, who is now unworthy of holding his hammer, uses a concert black and some piping; and The Hulk can now only be tamed after having a meal of human meat. It's truly a great spin.

So my final verdict? It's easy to get into, it's funny, it's a good story and it has some of the best characters in the Marvel Universe. PLUS! It has heroes being bad! I gotta give this comic an A, no doubt about it.

Please allow me to introduce myself...

So, I'm opening this blog official to rate and discuss the comic collection that I've amassed over the years, and I'll talk about other comic news that hits the market. Hey, everyone else can do it, so why can't I?

I'll try not to rip off Dave's Longbox too much.